I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
