I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
