well I can't set my house on fire every night
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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