i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize