That's intense
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
