You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
