Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
