i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
