The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
