you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
