can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
