Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
