absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
