Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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