; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
