using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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