He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
