Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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