i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We are two peas in an std pod
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
