i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize