i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
