Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
