So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
pop tarts are not kleenex
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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