New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Acid is not a monday night drug
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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