I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
soo... how was my night?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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