Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
