is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
