well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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