one might say we're banned from that church
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
