I cannot find my penis.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Randomize
