Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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