i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
