I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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