he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
