But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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