we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
