I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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