Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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