Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
