I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
