I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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