my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
