I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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