the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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