This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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