if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
