Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
