is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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