Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
