Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
