you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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