that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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