Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
