dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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