so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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