so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
