That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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