splinters make it hard to masturbate
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
