I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
