***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
