He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
