Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
